Thumbs Down!

So far in my travels around the Atlanta food and nightlife scene, there have only been two places that have blown my mind at just how ridiculous they are. And not in a good way. There are upsides to these places, to be sure, but I really would not recommend them to anyone.

The first is the Mellow Mushroom in Brookhaven. Now, to be fair, I absolutely love Mellow Mushroom. Not only do that have fantastic food, but they have a pretty awesome beer club that you can join (“It’s like a book club! But with no books. And beer!) and I have spent many an evening with friends at these establishments. The location in Brookhaven, however, is a waste of your life. I went with a friend and after letting the seating hostess know that were choosing to sit outside were completely ignored for literally twenty minutes. They weren’t particularly busy that evening, there were plenty of open tables, and servers were in our section. We tried to flag one down but no one felt the need to even take our drink order. At first I thought this was a one off kind of thing, but three other people I know have had the exact same experience at this one. Which is really a shame, because I would have loved their tempeh sandwich and a good IPA. Other Mellow Mushroom locations are definitely a go, but give Brookhaven a wide berth.

The second on the list is the Graveyard Tavern in the East Atlanta Village. I’ll come right out and say that I have a soft spot for hipster bars. I grew up in Athens so there was really no avoiding them. People watching at these establishments is always hilarious and once people start dancing it just gets better. When I was there last night they were still serving food, so once we finally got seated (first the hostess put us at a table with an elderly gentleman we didn’t know… we grabbed the first booth next to us that opened up) our waitress was all kinds of slow and the tv’s all over the bar were playing Silent Hill. Do you know how difficult it is to enjoy a conversation and a Victory Golden Monkey while Triangle Head is ripping people apart right next to your head? And then once the DJ started up, the giant projector screen behind them was playing this bizarre, old-school basically snuff porn thing? I don’t even know. But there were way too many naked people chopping limbs off of each other and drinking blood to enjoy my dancing experience to the fullest. I understand the hipster appeal of really terrible movies, but I’m way ready to not be bombarded with things like that when I really just want to have a night out. There are definitely good things about Graveyard, but everything else so overshadowed them that while my friend and I were dancing he literally said we should go home and watch BBC Sherlock instead of staying longer. So we did.

I’ll keep everyone posted on where I’m going next, but I would really suggest you don’t play at either of these places if you want good service or to save your eyes some trauma.